I was going to write a Spring Break Wrap-Up (which would mostly be me doing things other than homework) but then Drippy the Chipmunk decided to be a butthead today so I'm gonna write about that first.
Drippy lives under the back stoop. He no longer lives under the front stoop because of reasons. This morning, Drippy decided he was going to sing his mating song. It's not a very good song. In fact, it's a little repetitive. He has been singing his song NONSTOP since 8am. It's noon. He is sitting ON the back stoop just singing his little heart out. If you make noise or make a big, scary, sudden movement, he'll run under the stoop. Then approximately a minute and a half later (we timed it a few times and took an average) he comes back out and continues his song.
My mother and I have been sitting on the porch and went in for lunch. After we ate, she stuck her hand in the bowl of walnuts and grabbed three.
"Uhh...are you planning to throw those walnuts at the chipmunk? Because I'm not sure that will be very effective."
She doesn't answer.
She walks outside. Drippy Pavarotti darts under the stoop. She sets the three walnuts in a line a few inches from Drippy's corner stage.
Approximately a minute and a half later, Drippy sticks his head out. We thought he would try to eat the nuts and they would be hard to open so he would stop chirping and focus on the walnuts. Not so much. He is now sticking his head out of the crack in the stoop. Singing his little song TO the walnuts.
Nack you, Drippy. Be happy you're not a skunk.
Transitionless Transition.
Now the 12:02pm alarm is going off and Drippy can hear it because the door is open. It's just a repetitive noise party over here.
Oh, I guess I should explain the 12:02pm alarm.
There's this watch. We don't know where it came from, whose it is, and why it's here but there's an alarm on this watch that goes off every afternoon at 12:02pm. This has been going on for YEARS. It took us a while to find the watch in the first place because the alarm only goes off for a minute and for a while it was really muffled. Kind of like that time there was the mystery alarm in Michigan. We finally found the watch but didn't turn off the alarm. I'm sure we could have figured it out but then I would miss the 12:02pm alarm. So we just keep moving it around the house.
It has been many places it shouldn't be. I have put it under Nack's pillow because sometimes he'll sleep past noon. But only two minutes past noon. Because of the 12:02pm alarm. It's currently in a basket in a cupboard in the family room. And it has been the 11:02pm alarm for the past few months because of Daylight Savings but now that we lost that precious hour last weekend, the alarm is back in its rightful 12:02pm timeslot.
I'm gonna be really sad when those batteries die.
Update: One of the walnuts is gone.
Out-of-Context-Quotes from Whenever
"They do cost an arm and a leg...BUT THEY COME IN COLORS!! OOOOOHH!"
"I'm going to strangle that freaking chipmunk."
"Jesus! How does that thing not run out of breath? It has, like, Michael Phelps lungs!"
"MAX! LET THE SQUIRRELS EAT THE BREAD CRUSTS! THEY ARE NOT USING BREAD TO MAKE BOMBS, THEY'RE EATING IT!"
"How do I change my text noise?"
"Like this. Do you want your old one back?"
"No, I want to go through all of them and pick the one that scares the dog the most."
"Crackberries don't have the doot-da-do. I already checked."
"Damn it!"
*Dog is staring creepily at Brian*
"Max! Stop staring at Brian like a stalker! You're creeping both of us out!"
"What does he want?"
"We don't know. Probably wants to lick your pants."
"I SOLVED THE 36 CUBE"
"I hate you."
"Also: I SOLVED THE MOFO 36 CUBE"
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"
"I'm watching Sweet Genius and I definitely want to punch this guy in the face."
"I know! I want to bake him a poison cupcake."
"We got that spicy crab volcano roll."
"The one with the death sauce on top."
