That Letter Thing

Hi. Here you go.

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And the part you've all been waiting for...the Christmas Quotes that didn't pass quality control.

It's like a bedside conversion, you leathery bag of shit!

Dickweed. I'm pretty sure it's a spice.

No, that's dillweed. But good try.

What should I take a picture of first? The dark building? The empty parking lot? Or the invitation she showed me 5 minutes ago that I had to point to the part where it says "January 13, 2012" under Date?

"Where's the pear? We need to make more butts."

NO! My prints are on that!

Do you taste raspberry?

I taste the rabbit ass.

Hey thanks for the bed spoons, asshat.

Face your fears, bitch!

You're not using a bear attack to get out of this. No one's gonna believe that sh*t.

I'm going to strangle that freaking chipmunk.

Holy shit! WHY IS THAT EVEN A THING?!

That's too bad. I guess the only option is to burn it and start anew.

I'm not lighting the couch on fire because there was a f*cking spider near it!

It's contaminated. It's kind of your only option.

Kindly remove your paws from my boobs. Thanks.

Outtakes from the Santa Hat Pictures:

Happy 2013!