A tin of wine from 1986? Okay.

I'm eating a giant Costco muffin with a fork and I keep stabbing through the paper with my fork and now I'm convinced I've eaten a bunch of little bits of paper. Could I just unwrap the muffin? Yes but that's not allowed. Seriously, have you ever seen me eat an Eggo waffle? There are rules that must be followed. You can't just unwrap a muffin. Don't even get me started with proper Skittles procedure.

In other news, second semester has started and I'm kind of strugglebussing a little bit with the transition back to regular college classes. What is this thing called "class"? Why don't I know every little thing that's going to happen within this "class" thing? What am I supposed to do with this random "time" between "class"? Where are all the tiny humans?

I've also forgotten how to read. Well, not all the way. I just forgot how to read things like articles and critical analyses of...stuff. Lemony Snicket's new book is pretty awesome, though.

Life update: I cut off and donated 15 inches of hair! It was ridiculous. It was time, though. It took me longer to tame it after I got out of the shower than it did to take a shower. Now I have bangs and no idea what to do with them.

Maybe I will post more now that I have a little bit of "time." Probably not, though. I'm not making any promises.

The Christmas letter post got the most views/clicks of any of my posts ever! So thank you to all you ridiculous readers that tuned in for the bonus online content! Do any of you want to come scrape Trudy for me? I hate winter.

Out-of-Context Quotes from Time that has Passed

NUMBER 21! I don't know his name right now but 21! THIS IS 21 LAND. SUCK IT.

I have a lot of lotions.

YOUR FACE IS RAINING INTO MY CUP.

Hey-a Joe-a! I cannot-a do 6. I can-a do 7.

Son offa bitch-a!