Yashuglyphica

I don't really have any epic stories from this week.

I'm trying out a new nickname for Yashu. We'll see how it goes.

I drew a wreath on our schedule board and that was apparently not allowed and I had to wear a "WREATH MAKER" dunce hat (made of green paper with a star on top) and sit on the barstool with my guilty dog face. Glyph will upload the picture eventually. I WAS JUST FEELING SOME CHRISTMAS SPIRIT, OKAY?

I may have had coffee too late in the day yesterday so I was up late. But it ended up being good because Nitty needed help with analyzing a poem and my caffeine-induced, late-night Crazy came out and we ended up with a pretty bitchin' extended metaphor. Then I started crashing and telling him that haters gonna hate and critics gonna criticize and may have used a Ke$ha song title to explain myself. But before that it was good.

One of my Kindergarteners asked me why I was wearing "kid shoes." I had my pink floral tennis shoes on.

"Am I too old to wear kid shoes?"

"How old are you?"

"20"

"Yep. You're a teacher; you can't wear kid shoes!"

"But I know how to tie the laces!"

"Yeah because you're not allowed to be a teacher if you don't know how to tie your shoes! That's one of the first things of being a big kid."

Whatever, dude.

I just have a lot of stellar Out of Context Quotes for this week.

"She's like, 'This sucks. Imma try to fix it I guess. Wash thy face.' then later she's all like 'Well, I'm too poor anyway so f*** it, send thee out the door, critics gonna criticize (haters gonna hate) this is my shit.' She can't change her work just like she can't change a child; We R Who We R."

"You’re tired."

"You know what is a f***ing good song? Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston."

"I hate humans! My butt is so sore!"

"You need to study! You can’t spend all your time hunting humans!"

"It looks like a double-ended penis."

"Hey Nack is it bad if Tiva feels hot to the touch on the sides?"

"Yes."

"Can you fix it?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"I'm like a hundred and fifty miles away."

"...accepted."

"Do you know how to clean the fan?"

"Yeah. You flip it over,"

"Okay,"

"And then unscrew the screws,"

"Nope. Not happening."

"Didn't think so."

"Where's your iPod?"

"It's syncing."

"You know what you should name...

"THE TITANIC."

"YOU RUINED IT."

*Molly sticks her unshaven leg out for Yashu to see*

Yashu: "OH MY GOD. I'M EATING!"

"Did you hear Yashu's latest insult? She called her 'White Girl.' It was almost as good as when she called me 'Lemon Shorts.'"

"We can go to the paint place!"

"CHINATOWN!"

"What's the difference between 'affect' and 'effect'"?

"Affect- action. Effect- thing."

"No one has ever explained it that simply before."

"Boom. Roasted."

"Sometimes when you're writing something all of a sudden it derails and turns to something else and you just decide to roll with it instead of fixing it. Like a Pandora station gone horribly wrong. Anne Bradstreet = hinky Pandora station."