Reptar Cicada

I regularly have conversations with inanimate objects. They're mostly one-sided conversations.

I also regularly have conversations with other things that can answer me. Kind of. Like the oven, the microwave, Tiva (my computer), chipmunks, squirrels, Max, various birds, and most small animals.

I went into the bathroom and I heard something chirping at me. I think it was a cicada but I can't be sure because I was dark out and I didn't really care that much. The window in the bathroom was open and I could hear it pretty well. I thought it was right outside the window so I walked over and leaned against the screen and said, "Hi. Why for you are running your mouth and/or legs?" (At the time I thought it was possibly a grasshopper but later decided against it)

It chirped back at me.

I said, "Oh. Well it's almost 9pm so I'm sure she'll come back soon."

It chirped back at me.

I said, "No, I did NOT say that. That is complete and utter bullshit."

It chirped back at me. Twice!

I said, "Lies. That squirrel has it in for me. He's just bitter because I didn't scatter a whole box of Nerds today."

It chirped back at me.

I said, "I don't know! Ask someone who's fluent in cicada!"

It didn't chirp back at me right away. But then it chirped back at me.

I said, "Fine. We're over. Goodbye."

Then I heard a toilet flush.

I may or may not have forgotten that other people could have been in the bathroom with me. This girl walks out, avoids eye contact as she washes her hands, and walks out the door without saying a word.

I also may or may not have been wearing my Reptar shorts.


Out-of-Context Quotes from the past few days:

"I NEED AN OBJECT."
"SHIH TZU MUG."
"PERFECT."

"I like the way you ask questions. You make it sound like you actually care."

"Question: Do you think in English or OH MY GOD A FUZZY CATERPILLAR"