Quick! Put them in her purse!

Saturday:

My cousin, my aunt, my grandmother and I went SHOPPING. We went to Old Navy and annihilated the clearance (because I have the gift) and then we went to DSW. My grandma had three coupons for DSW so we HAD to find something. BOOTS. I GOT BOOTS. They're Beckett-esque and badass. THEY CAME IN WIDE and I was super happy and I may have even skipped around the store a little bit. We get to the counter and my grandmother starts looking through her purse for the coupons. Aaaaand they're gone. What the hell? She digs through each pocket and finds all of her coupons for other places, but the ones for DSW have vanished. My aunt even went back to the car to see if she dropped them on the floor, or if they were on the seat or in a cup holder or something.

Nothing.

What the hell? We watched her put them in her purse!

Did they vaporize?
Unlikely.
Did they fall to the bottom?
Nope.
Did they get all wadded up in a corner?
Nope.
They're not in the envelope with all the other ones?
Nope.

Well, shift. So we decide to get the shoes and just use the coupons another time. IF WE EVER FIND THEM.

Maybe we left them at Old Navy? We go back Old Navy and ask. They didn't find any coupons.

We give up and go back to the house. My aunt decides to check the car one more time because there is NOWHERE else they could be. Meanwhile, my grandma dumps out her purse to see if they were in there. They weren't. But we did find a teeny-tiny wrench, dental floss, various gift cards, keys, and a prescription med bottle. My aunt comes back from looking in the car as my grandma goes downstairs to see what the boys are doing (probably something with the computer).

She found them.

They were in the little pocket thingie on the inside of the passenger door. Who would have thought to look there? The little pocket thingie on the inside of Trudy is full of napkins, bank envelopes, and granola bar wrappers.

My aunt decides to stick them into my grandma's purse so when she comes back, we can ask her for something out of her purse and then she'll see them and think she's nuts. What a wonderful idea! She comes back and my aunt makes up some ridiculous story about how she needs a teeny-tiny wrench to fix something on the car.

My grandma looks through her purse to find the wrench. She glosses over the coupons.

Well, shit. That did not go as planned.

Wait! She also needs dental floss. Just because.

My grandma goes back through her purse to find the dental floss. Again, she glosses over the coupons.

At this point, we can't keep a straight face anymore. My cousin and I started laughing and my grandma finally realized what was going on. There was evil afoot and it was beautiful.

How nice.

Sunday:

We met my parents about an hour from wherever the hell they were and hit the road. The drive back was much shorter (un-stupid weather!)

We get back home and I proceed to start stalling. Because I do NOT want to get back in the car for another two hours to drive back to IWU.

Eventually I drive back to IWU with my two Costco-sized bags of Babybel cheese, sheet music, and two extraordinary rugs.

You know, the important things.


Out-of-Context Quotes from the weekend:

"THOSE TABLES DON'T EVEN MATCH!"

"And how did you determine it was mouse poop?"
"Flavor."

"And THEN they can all come in and piss on Nack's shoes!"

"Who is that?"
"Uhh... those were all me"
"NO!"
"Yes?"
"NO WAY!"